Transitions

Transitions

While I am a big fan of autumn and then the holidays, what I really enjoy most is ‘tween times. I like evenings and early mornings when it’s not quite light, not quite dark. I like the first few warm days of spring when you can feel the Earth start to rev up for another season of life. I like that first big cold push of autumn where you can actually feel summer break and know it’s not coming back again now for a while. And I like the equinoxes themselves when everything sits balanced for a day just teetering on going over the edge into either warmth or cold.

I particularly like living in the Midwest during these times.

Buddhism, as I practice it, has few rituals. My practice is more about the day in day out of things and trying to attain a certain level of mindfulness each day and approaching each decision with the litmus tests of the eightfold path and the precepts. But there is that other side of me that likes the ritual and craves the traditions that ground us to the Earth and her various webs. For that reason I am trying to establish traditions for my children that loosely follow the wheel of the year commonly used in Earth based religions.

I’ve consulted a number of books looking for kid friendly projects and also look through my new best love…Pinterest. The one I found that I like the most is a “found things” wreath or a blessing wreath.

I saw this in a book I bought a couple months ago titled “Celebrating the Great Mother Earth” By Cait Johnson and Maura D. Shaw.  The main concept is to make a wreath with symbols of autumn you can find in nature close to home. I tried to get my kids interested. First I invited them to join me in hunting for our things. I thought for sure they would like this part since my kids pick up every leaf, rock, berry, and piece of poop they find outside. But no dice. So, I collected our items.

Among items collected were wildflowers, leaves, grasses and clippings from our lavender.

Next I offered them to help me attach the items. Kids like messy glue right. Apparently, not mine. So I did that part too. But when I was done and brought it out for the family to see Bug exclaimed “oh cool Mom!” and the Bear asks about it every time we come in or out of the house. I at least got their attention. I’m guessing next year might be different.

It was also the first weekend cool enough to bake some goodies. I made beer bread Friday night and cupcakes Sunday. Oddly, there was no problem getting the family interested in those items.

Upcoming family traditions include our annual trip to the pumpkin patch and participating in our small town downtown trick or treat parade. It’s a fun downtown event where kids dress up and business hand out candy. Pretty much all of the kids in town show up in costume so it looks like a big circular parade around Main Street. It has a festival feeling to it like the last hoorah before we all retreat to our snug warm homes for winter.

I’m always hoping for reader comments so please share your traditions.

On another note, same topic, a couple weeks ago a friend of mine shared this on her Facebook. I read it. Cried. And promptly shared it on mine so others could cry too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/devon-corneal/parenting-lasts_b_1874086.html

About three nights after reading this I was coming out of Bear’s room after another round of her exhausting bedtime routine and the Bug called for me. He still likes a little bedtime cuddle and I admit I like it too. We cuddle and talk about his day and preschool and stuff he wants to get. The Bear is a mommy hog so I cherish this extra little mommy and Bug time. While talking to him this article came back to mind. And I took some extra mental pictures.

I took time to notice how soft his hair is after bath. How crowded the bed is with favorite toys and books. I let him lead the conversation so I could get an idea of what is on his mind these days. That pretty much consisted of toys and staying home to play with toys and going to a bouncy house. But that is good because like Mr. Rodgers said “play is really the work of childhood”.

Anyway, I took the author’s advice. I took the extra mental pictures and while I feel pretty secure about have lots of cuddle nights ahead still, I know they will come to an end. In fact just this past week he has started to refuse letting me walk him up to the preschool door because he “is a big boy and he knows how to get there.” 

I’m starting to transition to standing back and watching him from farther away.

Go Bug Go. It’s not too far.

Keeping up with keeping track

I cleaned out the fridge again today since the last blog. Here is the list:

3 cups of homemade pasta salad ($2)
1 serving (deck of cards size) of roast beef ($2)
2 baked potatoes ($1)
1 yogurt ($1)
2 cups lettuce ($1)
1/3 bottle orange juice ($1.50)
2 slices of pizza ($2)

I estimated this at about $11.00.

It's not really about the money though. The juice I forgot was in there. The roast beef and potatoes just didn't get used. The yogurt fell behind the cheese and meat drawer. The lettuce again just didn't get ate. The pizza...well we always have some that gets tossed.

So not bad. I have been watching closer. But on the flip side,yogurt and juice for a light breakfast, pasta salad for lunch, a plate of roast beef and potatoes with salad for dinner, and pizza for a late night snack is probably worth a lot more to someone who is hungry.

A big step for the Bug

The Bug started preschool last week. We took the first day of school pictures. He asked when we were leaving non-stop the entire first morning. He hopped out of the car with his little backpack on and walked on in like he had done this a thousand times before. I had to ask for a kiss goodbye. He said “oh ya ya ya, (kiss) bye mom.”

I shed a couple tears but have to admit I found myself rather surprised that there were not more. I was completely convinced that I would be a mess that first day. But the night before, while the Bug slept with visions of learning centers and snack time dancing in his head, I was woke by a thunderstorm. My first thought was “Oh great, there is no way I will be getting back to sleep now.” 

I thought about how big Bug is getting and the Bear too for that matter. I thought about the pictures we would take in the morning and I thought about how upset I was going to be dropping him off. Then my brain asked, “Why?”

What do you mean “why” brain? Because my baby is starting preschool that is why. I’m supposed to feel old. This is bittersweet. You know brain all that stuff about him growing up and needing mommy less.

And brain said, “Yes, he is and that is the goal. We are working toward raising an independent person. So really, why are we sad? Isn’t this the point?”

And I said, “Brain, you just don’t get it” and promptly forced myself back to sleep because obviously brain was going to be a jerk. Nobody wants to listen to a jerk. Especially at 2:30 in the morning.

But that first morning while I watched my little man march across that parking lot with his little backpack. As I gave him final instructions about listening and being respectful and walked away to the car waiting for the waterworks to start, I finally heard what brain was saying. I looked at the other kids. Most were also happily marching in without a second thought. A couple looked a little worried and hesitated on letting go of mommy’s hand. Some moms were dabbing their eyes. Some dads were too.

But, for me at least, there wasn’t a sense of bittersweet. There was a sense of “wow, look at what I did. I made a person and today he is taking a big step towards independence and he is stepping with confidence and wonder and enthusiasm.”

And I found myself becoming enthusiastic for him. This marks a whole new time for him. This marks the time when he will be making friends of his choosing, finding out what interests him in the world, developing a new level of discipline and being exposed to stuff he might not at home. He will begin to learn what traits he likes in people and what traits others like in him. This is the beginning of team work, birthday parties with friends over family and “can so and so come over to play?”

I left with a sense of optimism. Then promptly told his daycare provider the wrong time to get him and he was left there for an extra 15 minutes. *sigh*

So, I almost got it right.

I close today with a Taoist quote, a well loved one at that: A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.