I don't understand

Well, the title is a little misleading. I do understand...now.

Five days in a work week and many of those days I have to deliver two preschoolers to two different preschools within 15 minutes of each other. Those mornings seem like a half marathon. Even with school almost over there is still that moment when I get into my car after dropping the last kid off and do a small victory dance. We made it with everyone alive and no one in tears.

About halfway through the school year I made a post on social media about how I feel like I just completed an obstacle course and how much I relish that small victory. Many other moms piped up with similar small victories. We joked about how some people want a Nobel Peace Prize but we just wanted peaceful mornings, after school and bedtimes. We shared our small victories.

And then is happened. The "one upper" and "marginalizer" appeared. The person who has it worse, does it better or wants all of us to know what we do really isn't that big of a deal. The person who got four kids to six different places, all at the same time, in 10 feet of snow, uphill both ways during the dustbowl. You know who I'm talking about. We all have them lurking in the friends list.

I ended up deleting the post. I was confused as to why someone would want to ruin a good time like that with such negativity. Why must they take away the small victory? What do they have to gain from acting this way? I just didn't understand.

Then, during a conversation about a completely different topic, I found understanding. These people are insecure and trying to compensate for their own perceived shortcomings. Perhaps they see are trying to cover for a failure or haven't come to terms with disappointments they hadn't expected? They are upset and really do not want the rest of us to be happy.

They are suffering.

So, I won't delete the next post. Instead I will respond with gratitude toward them for further reminding me of how good I have it. I will be grateful for an effective co-parent, kids who eventually do the right and needed thing (even if it means repeating "get your shoes on" fifteen times) and for the small victory that I can find joy in without diminishing others. I will be grateful for a positive spirit and I will be even more mindful to encourage and support.

Mother's day

I have never written a Mother’s day blog. I just realized that a couple days ago. I guess because I don’t give the day a lot of weight. My husband has always tried to make the day special. He has bought gifts and a couple years ago took me out to a really fancy lunch and shopping but really I just wanted to hang out with my kids.

Now they are both in preschool and this week has brought me the school made projects. Runa made me a card with an “I love you” message written by her in large block capital letters. The fact she can write just blows me away. She also covered a jar in tissue paper to make it look like stained glass and filled it with dandelions.

Noah filled out a “about my mommy” sheet. He says I weigh 58 lbs so he wins the favorite kid award. Just kidding! But he also gave me a sunflower sprout they started in school that will find its way into a flowerbed or garden tonight.

These little tokens are so precious to me. The husband brought back a beautiful handmade necklace from his last business trip. It’s really gorgeous and I look forward to wearing it on date night but the time in the garden last weekend and the projects I can see the kids poured their hearts into just for me mean so much. I don’t need or want the store bought flowers or gifts or breakfast in bed. I am more than happy with the effort they put forward to make sure their project for mom was perfect.

That all being said I am taking another step toward my own personal goals. I am in the final design stages of my Etsy shop. I know, I know everyone has an Etsy shop but it is another way of getting my photography out there and seen.

 

On a final note:

It’s been a month since my last blog. At the end of that post I discussed the impending passing of our beloved cat Lynxy. About two weeks after that post she lost the battle. I kept my promise and was there with her until the end. I miss her non-stop “talking” and our nightly chats. She was awesome cat.