I don't understand

Well, the title is a little misleading. I do understand...now.

Five days in a work week and many of those days I have to deliver two preschoolers to two different preschools within 15 minutes of each other. Those mornings seem like a half marathon. Even with school almost over there is still that moment when I get into my car after dropping the last kid off and do a small victory dance. We made it with everyone alive and no one in tears.

About halfway through the school year I made a post on social media about how I feel like I just completed an obstacle course and how much I relish that small victory. Many other moms piped up with similar small victories. We joked about how some people want a Nobel Peace Prize but we just wanted peaceful mornings, after school and bedtimes. We shared our small victories.

And then is happened. The "one upper" and "marginalizer" appeared. The person who has it worse, does it better or wants all of us to know what we do really isn't that big of a deal. The person who got four kids to six different places, all at the same time, in 10 feet of snow, uphill both ways during the dustbowl. You know who I'm talking about. We all have them lurking in the friends list.

I ended up deleting the post. I was confused as to why someone would want to ruin a good time like that with such negativity. Why must they take away the small victory? What do they have to gain from acting this way? I just didn't understand.

Then, during a conversation about a completely different topic, I found understanding. These people are insecure and trying to compensate for their own perceived shortcomings. Perhaps they see are trying to cover for a failure or haven't come to terms with disappointments they hadn't expected? They are upset and really do not want the rest of us to be happy.

They are suffering.

So, I won't delete the next post. Instead I will respond with gratitude toward them for further reminding me of how good I have it. I will be grateful for an effective co-parent, kids who eventually do the right and needed thing (even if it means repeating "get your shoes on" fifteen times) and for the small victory that I can find joy in without diminishing others. I will be grateful for a positive spirit and I will be even more mindful to encourage and support.